Unhappy Birthday

The day Madison was born was one of the happiest in my life. Her birth was just like the movies. Well, except for the 51 hours of labor before she was actually born. Joe cut the cord and the doctors laid Madison on my chest. Immediately after she was born, right there in the delivery room, Joe and I spent time cuddling and admiring our baby girl. With a full head of hair and big blue eyes, she was the cutest baby ever.

Madison at five days old:



I cried tears of joy. Instantly Joe and I went from being a couple to a family. Life was perfect.

The day Kyle was born, on the other hand, was the worst of my life.

After my water broke at 22 weeks during our family vacation to Disney, I had been placed on bed rest in a hospital 1000 miles away from home. And I was okay with that. We were just so grateful that the doctors had been able to stop my labor.


At this point, I had been on bed rest for two weeks without any signs of labor being immanent. With people praying for us around the country, I was optimistic that I could last on bed rest for a couple months. But, the doctors had warned me that at some point labor would come, and it would come quickly. I however, was not prepared for just how quick they meant.


On February 20th, at a little after midnight, I got up to use the restroom. I did my business then laid back down in bed. It was only then that I realized something was terribly wrong. I literally could not put my legs together because the baby was falling out of me.


I frantically screamed for a nurse. She took one look at what was happening, and paged the delivery area to prep for an emergency. While this was happening, I grabbed my cell phone that was next to the bed and called Joe to alert him. The time on caller ID said 12:08am.


I was whisked down the hall and into the operating room which was full of people who were preparing for the delivery. The doctors discovered that it was actually the sac that was holding Kyle and his feet that were falling out of me. While Kyle's chances at survival were not high to begin with, with him being breech the doctors felt he certainly would not survive a vaginal delivery. So, the decision was made to try and push him back inside of me and then deliver him via c-section.


Kyle was born at 12:48 am. When he came out it was not as if you could hear a cry (the doctors later told us his lungs were the size of a lima bean) and everyone is happy and declares "it's a boy!" Instead the NICU team was there waiting and they went into overdrive trying to save this little life. Not knowing what his state was at birth, I just kept yelling "Is he alive???" until someone finally told me he was.

While I was being sewn up, a neonatoligist came to speak with me and let me know that they would do everything medically possible to give Kyle a chance at life, but there is only so much that can be done.

Until anesthesia wore off, which took a couple hours, I was not allowed to leave the recovery room to see the baby. During this time, I just laid in a bed all by myself and cried. I was so worried that Kyle would die before I ever got a chance to meet him.

In the meantime, Joe flew down to Florida. When we were finally able to go see Kyle together, we were shocked at how small he was. And it was not a tiny, cute little baby kinda small. He obviously was very sick. Despite all the problems on the inside - things like his lungs and heart not being developed - we were struck by how different he looked on the outside. One of his eyes were still fused shut. His skin was transparent and covered with hair. Even his ear lobes had not yet developed cartilage. I've never saw anything like it, but his ears just sort of hung down like Dumbo's. (Sorry Kyle, as I am sure you will read this someday!).


Kyle at five days old:




Unlike the day Madison was born, there was no cuddling and family bonding done with Kyle when he was born. In fact, it would be 69 days before I was even allowed to hold him wrapped in a blanket like a newborn.

Kyle was a fighter and after 119 days in the NICU, we were allowed to take our precious, healthy baby boy home. THAT day was one of the happiest of my life. I cried (okay I bawled) tears of joy as we made our way to the car with Kyle.

And it is THAT day that I want to celebrate.


Madison and Kyle the day he came home from the hospital:




When Kyle's birthday 1st birthday came around this past February, it just did not seem right celebrating with a big party in Ohio. So instead we headed back to Florida for a quiet reunion with our NICU family.

But, it has now been exactly one year since Kyle came home from the hospital and we are celebrating the occasion with a HUGE party for family and friends this weekend. And I couldn't be happier!!!